Part I | Part II “Brothers, you’re just not going to find a supermodel hafidha of the Qur’an,” said an Islamic studies instructor. This was a digression during a fiqh course entirely unrelated to marriage. In a different setting, another instructor commented on the kind of woman young brothers are generally looking to marry, “That’s …
A Trying Tale She stares out of the window, gazing at the trees that stand at a distance, an activity that occupies most of her day. It is a pastime that allows her to clear her mind completely and not remember the darkness that is her life. Since she is not fortunate enough to have …
Let me paint a picture for you. I’m in my 20s, I’m an active member of my Muslim community through a variety of organizations and I’m well-liked by my peers. Uncles and aunties rely on me as a speaker in the community and expect for me to be an inspiration to their children. My peers …
While you may think that tawbah wipes away the sin of watching pornography, the imprints that pornography leaves on your mind have not been wiped away. In fact, these pornographic imprints will shape and distort your perceptions about marriage and intimacy. Take Brother Mahmood who joined the Purify Your Gaze online program (now known as …
‘Why bother with all of this?” Br. Haseeb, a coaching client of mine was frustrated. It felt like the more committed he was in trying to make the lifestyle changes that would support his recovery, like getting to sleep earlier, the more annoying challenges would rise up in his path. It was bothering him especially because for the …
Brother Omar, one of my coaching clients was known as what we call, a high achieving child. Growing up, he excelled in multiple areas academically, and is on his way of becoming a doctor. Ma sha Allah. Even though he has done well in this sphere of his life, brother Omar still struggles with a …
Br. Nabeel sought out help from the Purify Your Gaze program for his unwanted sexual behaviors. Having been engaged in watching pornography for a number of years, he hit a new low by visiting massage parlors. I asked brother Nabeel what he thought caused him to hit to a new low. “The reason why I …
A lot of men get into marriage with the mindset of hiding their unwanted sexual behaviors from their wives. They have the following thoughts to justify their decision of not disclosing: “I am going to hide this [my unwanted sexual behaviors] from my wife, because it would devastate her.” “This is my problem. There is …
Brother Abdullah was doing all the “right things” in his recovery. He was taking care of himself by having long stretches of time where his unwanted sexual behaviors were absent and his daily self-care rituals were complete. However, after what seemed to be a few successful weeks of recovery, what followed were a series of …
One of the underlying issues that often drive addictions are relationship wounds. These wounds are formed earlier on in a person’s life and are carried on well into adult life, where the person is not able to relate and connect with others around them, and where they often keep everyone at an arm’s length. These …
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