Many married men at the Purify Your Gaze program have proactively dealt with guarding their gaze. But to accomplish that, they needed a strong reason why they were committed, that will help surpass them in those moments of weakness.
And the principal way you will guard your gaze is by spending some time on a personal level and connecting with this question:
“If nobody were to catch me or see me not guarding my gaze, why would I bother and make this a priority?”
Here are some reflections from married men within the Purify Your Gaze Community:
“The biggest thing is of course striving to seek the Pleasure of Allah swt by being a truthful and honest servant of Him. I want to be a real man, a man that has his dignity and a good man who shows ánd feels nothing but respect for sisters and women in general. I also want to regain my humanity and not looking at women the way animals look at their female counterparts. There is also the possibility of becoming a good husband to my future wife insha Allah. I want to do this so that I can become a good husband to my wife and a loving caring trustworthy family man.” – Brother Abdullah
“My main reasons why for guarding my gaze are:
My marriage. The love, respect, and relationship with my wife, so that I may become the husband she yearns and father my future children can look up to, insha’Allah.
My siblings. Being a success, inspiration, and reliable anchor of the family, after all we have lost. To make my parents proud, after all they sacrificed for me.
My mark in this world. To become and excellent, competent, and serving physician in the community who can inspire others in a positive manner.” – Brother Waleed
“The relationship to Allah is everything to me. I have passively let it go to do unthinkable things and I think that is the most important thing that is my main reason why. Also, I shudder at the possibility of my sons and nephew to fall in the same trap of watching explicit things online. I want them to not deal with this dreadful drag that will weigh anyone down emotionally.” – Brother Shahid.
Your spouse may have no idea that you are having trouble guarding your gaze whether offline or online.
The question to ask yourself then is, “Why then make guarding your gaze a priority in your life? Why is this important between yourself and Allah?
By answering this question you will be able to connect to that higher purpose that brings out the best of you as an individual, as a spouse, and as a protector of your marriage.