Have you ever felt that because you’ve been struggling with unwanted sexual behaviours for so long, you are doomed forever and you cannot begin to think of living a life without these behaviours?
You may have thoughts like:
“Since I’ve been addicted for so long, I’ve got no hope, no chance in my life. So why bother?”
“I cannot envision a possibility of living a different life, a life of integrity, wellness and wholesomeness, and therefore I cannot change.”
You’re right, you have no hope and you can’t change. And you can’t because of the mindset that you have.
This mindset gives you zero opportunity to succeed.
When you believe the thought that there’s no hope for you, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. As Henry Ford once said, ‘whether you think you can or you think can’t, you’re right.’
When you commit yourself to the process of your recovery and you believe that you can heal from your unwanted sexual behaviours, you’ve given yourself a world of opportunity to realize the dreams that you’ve always had, and a lot sooner, too. It gives you the motivation to keep going.
So you can change, and there is hope for you, when you are willing to give that hope to yourself.
There are real fruits of doing healing work. Take for example this Brother X, who after years of struggling with unwanted sexual behaviours, confronted his problem directly by getting help. After much effort on his part towards his recovery, he experienced his life change completely. Ma sha Allah.
“I’ve got easily some 20 odd years of sexual addiction in all its manifestations, I’m married and I have children, when I came to br. Zeyad it was at least after 5 years trying to knuckle down and get this thing under control. You know as an addict I’ve written myself off, and as addicts we have sort of damned ourselves before Judgment Day. And when you have a space that I’ve had in Purify Your Gaze where you are able to experience the compassion and that type of understanding, it’s totally transformative. And since I’ve started working with br. Zeyad, alhamdulilah wal shukrulillah I’ve had ZERO episodes of acting out, looking at pornography, my gaze is lowered on the street, I can drive to and from work without paying attention to anyone that is around me. My children notice the difference, my wife notices the difference, my own mother tells me how I’ve become a wonderful person, probably the first time I’ve heard that one in well over 20 years…”
As a result of turning things around, Brother X had an experience of taking his kids’ out to Farmer’s Market, where he was able to have that innocent fun with them. When they came back home, he found his daughters telling his wife that they have the best daddy in the world. For him that was such a redeeming moment and a fruit of recovery. That was his motivation to keep going in his recovery.
The ball at the end of the day is in your court. You get to decide what kind of life you would like to lead, knowing that there is always another chance to turn things around, no matter how long it has been since you have been struggling with your behaviours.
Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right. So, think wisely!