Relapse from recovery is often a devastating occurrence for both the individual seeking help with their addiction and the family members who have been affected by a loved one’s addiction. It’s important to note that just as addiction is a process, so is recovery.
If you have experienced a relapse, there are some steps you can take that may help you return to recovery and help prevent another return to your addiction.
So You Had a Relapse
Whether you’ve had days, months, or years free from your addiction, the threat of relapse is always there. If you do suffer a relapse, you likely feel a multitude of emotions about what happened. These emotions can run the gamut from shame, guilt, frustration, apathy or anger.
Some porn addicts may feel relieved about their relapse and become angry at loved ones who question them. Denial based thinking is common, and you may be finding ways to justify your behavior to enable the continuance of your addictive behaviors while recognizing it rationally as a negative thought process.
This thought process is particularly dangerous, as it allows an addict to fall further into their negative habits and increases the potential that they will lose more ground and become further immersed in their addictions.
Regardless of which response you find yourself having, it’s important to move beyond your relapse and back into recovery. It’s important to realize that the longer you engage in your addiction, the harder it will be to regain ground in the recovery process.
Find Forgiveness
You must begin by forgiving yourself for your relapse. This is likely to be the most difficult part of the process, but is vital for continued recovery. If you find yourself comparing your relapse in a negative way to another member of your support group, recognize that as individuals, we all experience life differently. We are all human and recovery is individual. There is no right or wrong way to pursue recovery, except to continue to try to avoid negative behaviors.
Apologize to loved ones who may have been harmed by your relapse. This can start the process of healing your relationships. Having their support can help you avoid another relapse.
Reach Out
Addiction.com states that most addicts relapse at least once during their recovery periods. Most counselors recommend turning to your established support system. If you are in counseling, an addiction support group or another community-based behavioral support system, reach out for help.
You don’t have to share with everyone, just a close confidant that you trust. Ask them to help you through your vulnerable time. Your counselor may be able to schedule an emergency session for you, or someone in your support group may be willing to be your ‘text in case of an emergency’ contact.
Consider Your Triggers:
Devote some time to the analysis of the months and weeks leading up to your relapse. Try to identify stressors that you experienced that may have triggered your behavior.
Were you under stress at work? Were you distracted or unhappy about an unrelated event? Once you can identify your motivators, it’s much easier to avoid them.
Recovery is as much about studying our behavior and learning to establish new patterns, reactions and responses as it is avoiding our addictions. When a patient in recovery takes the time to study and recognize the warning signs of a relapse, they are more likely to successfully prevent another.
The top warning signs of a relapse according to SAMHSA are:
- Depression, loneliness, anxiety and other strong emotions
- Feeling helpless.
- Major life circumstance changes.
Refocus
Renew your commitment to addiction. In order to do this, you must put your relapse in the past, mentally. Resolve yourself to moving forward to recovery and avoiding another fall into your pornography addiction.
Keep Trying
Don’t give up. There is no set time frame for recovery, and no right way to find your path to freedom from a pornography addiction. What is important is that you don’t give up and continue to try to attain a full recovery.
Formulate a Plan
ProjectKnow, An American Addiction Centers Resource, recommends that all addicts attempt to formulate an emergency plan to help avoid relapse. If you learn to recognize the symptoms of an oncoming relapse, you can use your emergency plan to limit your accessibility to pornography until the urge passes.
Successful methods include:
- Going for a walk, run or hike. Anything outside, away from electronics.
- Going to see a movie.
- Exercise.
- Formulate your own personal mantra to help maintain your focus.
- Call a friend, family member or recovery coach.
Relapse can be devastating to both the addict and their families. We understand that recovery is difficult and is often a long process. If you’re ready to take serious steps toward a life free from addiction, download our Getting Ready For Change Booklet now at PurifyYourGaze.com.
