The small wins or changes, whether they be external or internal in the recovery process, are even more important to celebrate, because they bring so much hope and joy to you and those around you, and point out that you are heading towards the right direction. These are wins that I love to celebrate with my clients, because any small or big win we can celebrate together is a one step forward towards the greater goal of achieving lasting sobriety, in sha Allah.
One of the areas that many individuals are hit hard by their addictions is their performance at work or school. This is due to the unmanageability of their life caused by these unwanted behaviors, that prevent them from performing well or up to their potential.
Here’s the story of one brother and how one of the fruits of his recovery was being able to get back to school after having had to drop out for two years.
Brother Amin comes from a background where he was addicted to drugs, had a drinking problem and was also struggling with his sex addiction. When he became a practicing Muslim, he was able to give up drinking and drugs, but one thing that he was not able to let go of was his problem with his unwanted sexual behaviors.
Because of all those other addictions, brother Amin consequently dropped out of school a couple of years ago, as things became unmanageable. This past year he embarked on the path of recovering from his unwanted sexual behaviors, through joining some of our programs at Purify Your Gaze.
In our recent coaching session together, brother Amin reflected on how he went back to school this year for the first time since dropping out, and ma sha Allah he did exceptionally well, and passed all his exams!
Brother Amin did not do anything beyond the ordinary in terms of working through the program. He took it one step at a time by performing the basics, which led him to small wins he could celebrate. After Allah SWT, he attributed his success wholly to the process of recovery:
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about myself, about what I really want and how to get there. And how much recovery has helped me, brother Zeyad. Because to be honest, I haven’t done so much in my recovery, but the gains have been great. The benefits have been great. I thought about my school exams too and thought wow, I haven’t been able to do this before, but with so much little work, I’ve done so much, and I can do better. And I have been really focusing on my recovery now, I can feel that too. It means everything to me, because I don’t want status, I don’t want money, and riches. I know what I want now.
“If you compare my situation from two years ago, I’m much much better now at school, at working, everything is going well and better. In this last year, when I started with this program, things are going much better. I don’t give up so easily. I don’t give up my hopes so easily. There are bad times, yes, but everything is good, everything is great … I was really thinking in detail about what has been going on lately, and I just sat down and prayed 2 rakats and it was wonderful. I could feel something and it was wonderful. It was like I was born again. My mind was cleared, my thoughts were focused, I’m back. It feels good.”
Allahu Akbar. Throughout our time working together, I noticed how brother Amin’s voice had changed from having a sense of constriction, to a flow of energy coming from him.
This is a person who was in layers upon layers of darkness just a few years ago, and whose situation may have been looked bleak to outsiders. But through the mercy of Allah, and with brother Amin taking one step towards recovery, he pulled through and saw the positivity flowing into his life.
He still has a lot of work to do, as he says so himself, but he has felt the essence of his recovery, which is the hamd of Allah:
I have grown much much stronger and bigger now because of my recovery. And thanks to Allah, I can understand myself much better, and I know what the meaning of hamd is now. I can understand it now and feel it. If I’m able to think and do those things like continue on my recovery path, all these abilities that I have, I have to use them in good way. I have to direct my energy to a positive way. Yes, like you said it’s painful sometimes, but with the pain comes growth. I grow, and I can feel that.”
These small wins or changes, whether they be external or internal in the recovery process, are even more important to celebrate, because they bring so much hope and joy to you and those around you, and point out that you are heading towards the right direction.
These are wins that I love to celebrate with my clients, because any small or big win we can celebrate together is a one step forward towards the greater goal of achieving lasting sobriety, in sha Allah.
This is what will sustain you on your path to lasting change, throughout your life. Even if the wins seem small on the surface, they weigh heavily on the scale of recovery from your unwanted sexual behaviors.
You don’t have wait to have an overnight transformation where you are completely sober and perfect to celebrate your progress and experience the positive outcomes of your decision of recovering from your unwanted sexual behaviors.
Like any journey undertaken by mankind, this journey is no different. It is filled with many gems and jewels, as well as many trying moments. But those who embark on the path break through the darknesses by the permission of Allah.
Masha’Allah I am very proud of our brother. All praise and credit goes back to Allah who has blessed brother Amin by allowing him to taste the fruits of his labour in recovery.
We wish him the highest level of success in this world and the next.