How I Learned to Prioritize Healing Every Day

I never owned a laptop before, but I decided it was about time to get one. In a way I never expected, I became consumed by an urge to set up my new device with all kinds of apps and software. Day after day, I found hours slipping through my fingers as I sat in …

What If In Two Years Nothing Has Changed?

February 2nd, 2017 “This is the fourth time this month. A well-meaning brother asks me if I’m looking to get married. Obviously, I would love to. But I haven’t gone more than two months without acting out. More than five years ago I started my recovery. Who would have thought I’d still be right here. …

My Addiction – A Hidden Blessing, Not A Curse

When I first learned of Purify Your Gaze, I thought I knew what would happen next: I’ll join this 5 week training program, I’ll take really good notes, and soon enough, I’ll be saying goodbye to my addiction. Addiction, to me, was a curse, I had no doubt about it, and all I needed was …

Why Despite My Efforts I Was Not Able To Break Free

I wake up early in the morning, and I get ready to go off to Fajr prayer, because going to Fajr is important to me. Although, I don’t share it with anyone, I’m furious. As I drive to meet my Lord, I give the empty passenger chair a backhanded blow with my right arm. My …