10 Ways Dropping Porn For Good Will Change Your Life

Let’s face it – most guys watch porn.

It’s really common for gals too. If you care about stats: 65% of young men and 18% of young women seek out this forbidden internet fruit at least once a week.[1]

Yes, Muslims struggle with porn use too. Some of us may like to think otherwise, but the truth is we do not live in a bubble free from these dark but oh-so-alluring waters.

It’s so common that the idea of living porn-free (and I mean 100% porn-free) is dismissed by many people as unnecessary, irrelevant, or plain ol’ impossible.

Even many practicing Muslims who use porn as a pass time every now and then wonder if it’s worth it to try to quit.

“I use porn sometimes. I don’t think it’s right, but I don’t think I have a problem or – heaven forbid – an addiction!”

I’ve heard such a sentiment from more than one practicing young Muslim guy.

They know the Quran teaches us to lower our gaze, they’ve heard the Friday khutbah’s about modesty – yet with how accessible pornography is and how sexualized society is today, being truly sexually pure can seem like a mountain not worth climbing.

Truth be told, leaving porn for good can be a bit of a climb.

We’re talking about overcoming a habit that’s taken years to take root. We’re talking about staying clean even when temptation is always only a click away. We’re talking about being committed enough to say no when hiding your secret is oh so easy (thank you incognito mode).

The choice to be 100% porn-free for 12 months is a choice that will require that you roll up your sleeves, do some soul work, honestly assess your life, and – for many people – get some help along the way.

(More details on what it takes to quit for good here.)

Sheeeeeeesh – sounds like homework.

Is quitting porn worth the effort?

I set out on a project to answer that question.

I mean we all know that quitting porn will be spiritually uplifting and will hopefully bring you closer to Allah and closer to achieving jannah one day.

But I wanted to paint a more immediate and more concrete picture of why a porn-free life is worth the trouble – for those of us needing more convincing or just more inspiration.

I found some brave Muslim souls who have made the choice to live without pornography after having used pornography for years prior.

These individuals worked through our program and committed to do anything and everything it would take to make it a reality.

They found success – when I met with them some had finally abstained for months and others for years, after having struggled with pornography for much of their lives.

I interviewed 2 Muslim men, Javed and Carlos, and 1 Muslim woman, Sister Dove, and they shared their stories with me.

From these interviews I discovered 10 things you can expect will happen in your life if you commit to living porn-free and you do the work necessary to sustain this habit change.

Here’s what I learned…

1. People Around You Will Notice The Difference

After just one or two months abstaining from porn, you’ll start to look and feel different. Brother Javed shared this with me:

I think even within a month or two of abstinence, that really strong transformation showed. One day, I was in the kitchen with my mother, and she said, ’You look different. You look like there’s some noor (light) about you.’ And then she said, ‘Wait here.’

And she called my father, actually. And she asked him to come. And she said, ‘Look at your son. There’s something different about him.’ And that was a very powerful reminder for me because I was different. I felt different. – Javed

2. Shame Will Be Replaced By Integrity

It’s near impossible to indulge in porn without feeling some shame. You don’t realize how much this shame weighs you down until you experience life without it.

This is how Brother Javed experienced it:

I would say some of the main things that I gained, first and foremost, was a sense of self-respect, a sense of honor, a sense of nobility, a sense of worth, a sense of integrity – even though I wasn’t perfect. I have my weaknesses.

I would wake up with a sense of integrity. I would go to sleep with a sense of integrity. And I would go about my day without this cloud, this mountain of shame about what I may have done the night before or a few days ago. And that speaks volumes because once you have that, a lot of the shame and the guilt starts healing. It’s just a natural process. – Javed

3. You’ll Be Able To Dream Again

Hope, optimism, and dreaming are natural human mechanisms that are stifled by the darkness of indulging in lust. But abstaining from porn allows you to dream again.

If you can live without porn, you’ll realize you can do anything.

I started dreaming more. I started hoping more. I started looking forward more to my prayers. I started being more present in my du’a. I started feeling that, you know what? I’m worthy of these good things that I’ve always told myself, ‘You’re not worthy of that. You can’t have that.’

And I started dreaming more and allowing myself to think more about my future in a way that pulled me to want to achieve that – as opposed to thinking about my future in a way that made me feel even more hopeless and despondent, like I was never going to get there. – Javed

4. Love Will Be Restored In Your Relationships

The ritual of pornography use occupies a huge reserve of your energy, time, and focus – and this takes a major toll on important relationships. In a porn-free life, you have more authenticity and more presence you can give to those you love. And those relationships will reach a whole new level of depth and intimacy.

Sister Dove saw how her family life became so much more meaningful when she committed to staying clean.

I really, really, really, really appreciate my home and family life, alhamdulillah. That’s not to say I don’t regularly make an exit from the house and take a break! But alhamdulillah, there is something to be said about looking forward to coming home and enjoying staying in the house…

Now I have a good relationship with my family. I have things to look forward to. There are family events I am present in and enjoying. My sister would invite us to her house, I would go and I would have a blast. I would absolutely enjoy it. And all we do is sit down, chat, eat, have some cake, and have a laugh and talk. Nothing much to it. – Dove

5. You Will Become More Compassionate And Less Judgmental

The reality about quitting porn is that it requires that you accept your human weaknesses and flaws – not to deny them or rebel against them.

Think about it – you are GOING to feel overwhelming temptations and urges sometimes. The key to staying clean then is to make room for them, accept them, and learn to work with them

People who seek support for their recovery through our program learn quickly that they must be completely honest about their weaknesses so that others can help them.

They learn that they can have flaws and still be loved and supported. This plays a HUGE role in equipping them to be more compassionate and less judgmental about others.

Carlos shared the following during our interview,

Just like here, I could spill my guts out to you, and I know it’s going to be okay. If I can in turn share that gift that you give me, I can give it to somebody else. I can tell them a little bit about myself and be vulnerable with somebody else. And they can be vulnerable back and not feel like they have to be guarded. – Carlos V.

6. You Regain Precious Time!

While stuck in the cycle of using porn, you find yourself constantly exerting excessive effort to keep everything reasonably balanced in your life. You sometimes give everything – your school/job, family, Allah, and your own self – just enough to meet the basic requirements.

Carlos describes the liberating weightlessness he experienced when the parasite of pornography was cut out for some period of time.

So imagine you arrive on the moon, and now you’re super strong because you’re so used to the gravity on earth. You’re so used to having to do everything that you do right now but with 20 hours less. So now you have more time. ‘Look at all these things that I can do!’  And everything just flourishes from there. – Carlos V.

7. Your Productivity Sky Rockets

Your productivity sky rockets because the time and energy spent in the pursuit of fantasy is now available for you to use in productive ways.

Do you have a list of things you wish you had time to do, but can’t seem to get around to? By quitting porn, you will have a much greater capacity to pursue your heart’s truest desires.

I go to work. Everybody does their chores, maybe to some mediocre level. But everybody still gets up. Everybody still goes to the grocery store and eats. But take away 20 hours a week because you were messing around with something. What if I gave you 20 hours a week back? How much more could you do with that? – Carlos V.

8. Your Raw Human Potential Will Be Unleashed

Quitting porn gives you a clear mind. This clarity of mind will lead to progress in all areas of your life, such as your career for example.

The progress you will start to see in other areas of your life is a natural consequence of the growth and maturity required to sustain long-term change.

When I started recovery from pornography addiction, with some of that clarity that came to mind, I was able to solicit a harder role at work. So that led to me being a manager of 6 people, which turned into being a manager of 15 people, and now there are 30 people. And this new role is something I would not have been able to deal with before starting recovery… – Carlos V.

9. You Will Appreciate Nourishment Over Junk Food

You will sense a tremendous difference between activities which nourish your body, mind, and soul, such as exercise, and those which only provide short-lived pleasure and numbness, such as porn.

When you practice choosing nourishment over junk and you observe the difference that results, you will learn to love the things that help you grow, and slowly let go of the destructive behaviors in your life.

Saying, “No, I’m not going to spend five hours on YouTube.” Even if it’s not watching erotic things, I’m still trying to stuff my head with anything other than reality. So by foregoing five hours of YouTube funny videos, I’m able to perhaps pay attention to my dog a little better. Perhaps I can use the time to do something I’ve always wanted to – meditation, reading, these kinds of things… – Carlos V.

10. You Will Become A Self-Discipline Ninja

Many people sincerely want to quit and try as best as they know how. But many don’t know how to take the disciplined action necessary to achieve long-term habit change.

When I talked with Javed about his 1 year without porn, he clearly identified the things he was doing consistently to support his new way of life.

That year that I was doing very well, I was doing a lot of hard work. It wasn’t glamorous. It wasn’t like, “Everyone come look how much fun this is!” It was hard work. I made a commitment that after every prayer, I would meditate on what I was fighting for in my life. And that’s something I was doing pretty much without fail.

And that’s what really helped sustain a lot of my progress. I was reflecting. I was doing a lot of reading. I was active on the Purify Your Gaze discussion forums. I was active in meeting with support people, talking to them on the phone. I basically made recovery from pornography my priority, my life. And subhan Allah, that’s what really sustained a lot of my progress. – Javed

Quitting porn helps you learn the art of prioritization and hard work – a skill that will make you a self-discipline ninja in all other areas of life as well.

Talk about a life-changing choice – so where do you start?

As you can see from these reflections, dropping porn for good is not only possible, it can completely change your life.

Even if you’ve struggled for some time with the habit, living porn-free is possible with the right strategies and support.

But is it worth it for you to get strategic about quitting porn long-term? Is it worth it to do the deeper soul-work? It is worth it to build a support network to help you along the way?

Only you can answer these questions for yourself.

But if by now you are inclined to move toward a life free from porn, then don’t overwhelm yourself by trying to change everything overnight.

Just take one small step right now.

One of the BEST things you can do for yourself right now to gear up for long-term change is to tap into your own motivation for change.

The individuals I interviewed all experienced drastic changes in their life when they stayed true to their commitment to live porn-free.

But to sustain your own journey you need to know what this change really means for YOU.

To help with that we’ve put together a cheatsheet to help you get to the CORE of your own motivation for change.

This cheatsheet walks you through 6 questions you MUST answer to connect to the powerful motivational drive necessary to sustain long-term change.

We’ve seen from people who have done this exercise that it can give you the jolt you need to stop saying “I can change tomorrow” and to feel truly ready to change today.

Click here to download the Ready For Change cheatsheet right now!

Don’t delay! One of the characteristics of people who succeed at habit change is not that they have iron willpower when temptations arise – rather they implement small actionable steps before temptation hits so they are prepared to stand strong.

This cheatsheet is a small step that will give you a LEAP forward in being ready to quit pornography for good, insha Allah.

Again, download it right here -> http://purifyyourgaze.com/sp/ready-for-change/

Reference [1]: http://www.covenanteyes.com/2013/02/19/pornography-statistics/

About the author

Bara Aldasouqi

Bara Aldasouqi is the Growth and Enrollment Manager at Purify Your Gaze. He writes and speaks about emotional, psychological, and spiritual health. Check out his Kickstart Your Recovery show for power tips to help you make leaps toward lasting freedom from unwanted habits. You can reach Bara on Facebook.

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